why i paid someone to cut my face open

they didn't really cut it open, per se, but we'll get to that later.

i'm a 27 year old female and i was sick, like, all the time. constant ear and sinus infections. strep throat, bronchitis. oh, and i have permanent hearing loss in my left ear. i was hating all of it. kept having to take stronger and stronger antibiotics which stopped working. so my PCP (primary care physician) sent me to an ENT (ear/nose/throat) specialist to see what was up. the ENT took a look up my nose and he basically was horrified, while trying to not look horrified, cause that would be unprofessional. turns out i had one of the worst deviated septums he'd ever seen. that was obvious when he tried to scope my sinuses with his camera thingy and it wouldn't fit up the left side. you see, doctor's cameras are verra, verra small and should fit anywhere. and when it doesn't, that's a very bad sign. he didn't really like to encourage invasive surgery, but he strongly urged me to consider it. so i did. i read some blogs by men (which while helpful, didn't really tell me a whole lot about their feelings - you know how men are) and spent some time on wikipedia and webmd - both very good sites.

then i went to my ENT and said "let's do it." and it was scheduled for 2 weeks later. so what did i do for those 2 weeks, besides tell my friends all about the gross stuff i was going to have done to me? i had 3, three!, pre-op appts. i had to visit the hospital where the bloody happenings were going to take place so they could draw 4 vials of blood. then i had to see my PCP so i could have an EKG done (i really wish someone would have told me you have to be basically naked for that - very embarassing. i like to be prepared for embarassing things.) then it was back to the ENT for him to make sure i was really ready. i was, so that was basically 7 minutes of my life wasted.

i was totally ready. hardcore ready. and then people asked me questions like, "what if the doc messes up and you end up ugly? what if your voice changes?" then my overactive immagination took over and got nervous. but the people who ask those questions are stupid and should be punched in their functional noses, the jerks.