things of note

things get swollen and bloody. and bloodier. these were taken monday, which was 3 days after surgery and the morning before the packing was removed.















btw, this is a normal to low amount of bleeding. and then the packing came out. which was, by far, the most painful part. it's real fast, but it hurts to have those suckers pulled out. what did the packing look like when it was removed? they're called nose tampons. use your imagination. but, here's the after. my nose is still swollen, all 45 minutes later, but the swelling was gone the next day. it was suppossed to swell up bigger and i'm attributing the fact that it didn't to the fact that i don't smoke and kept my head tilted back just about all of the time, like i was suppossed to.

surgery day, part 2

so, we're in the truck on my way to pick up my prescriptions and my mom tells me the following story. apparently, the doc said that i must've broken my nose as a child and asked if i did. to which my dad replies, "i didn't do it." my mom then proceeded to yell at him for being a jerk.

we get to the pharmacy and the pharmacist takes one look at me and asks if it was intentional or an accident to which my sick father replies, "she got out of line last night." so now it's my turn to tell him he's a jerk cause that really does happen to some kids. so, ya wanna know what i looked like afterwards? these were actually taken 24 hours later, but i assure you, not much changed.















can you tell how huge my nose is? it's cause i have nose tampons shoved up there. and yes, "nose tampons" are the technical term. the surgeon can either suture splints to your septum or use packing. mine opted for packing. less chance of infection. plus, you get to say nose tampons. all that packing caused my father to call me the easter bunny, which led to me asking my mom to run to the store so this picture could be taken.














told you i was cute.

surgery day, part 1

you have to get up really early to have surgery. i hate that. i was dressed and ready to go at 6:30 AM, when i get up at 7:00 AM for work. so i got up early on my day off. bummer. and you can't have any metal near you. you will be asked if any part of you contains metal like, 8 times. i'm not kidding. and when they say your hair rubber band they'll freak out - until you show it's metal free. phew.

so, at any rate we go to the hospital and i'm taken away from my parents and told to get naked and put on a surgical gown. being the rebel that i am, i kept my undies on. this is a big no-no and made me sad-sad. apparently, many patients "lose control" during long surgeries (i was expected to be out for 2 hours) so this way they can guarantee you'll have a dry pair to wake up to. if i would have known that was the case i would have brought another pair. not that that would have made any difference.

and then, they lost my parents. my parents need directions. not explicit ones, but some guidance would be nice. they were never told to go to the next waiting room so no one could find them and i got all nervous cause a nurse took away my glasses AND made it sound like if they didn't get to talk to mom and dad right then to give them instructions i might die. so, mom didn't get to give me a hug after the undies incident, but my parents eventually asked what was going on and it all turned out ok. my anesthesiologist was hot and the IV they use has a plastic needle so you can move your arm. i got a blanket that was fresh out of the dryer and very warm. nurses were nice and the surgery began. i hope i didn't do anything embarassing during the surgery, but i'll never know, so i guess it's ok.

when you wake up from the surgery it hurts. duh, right? but it was the most startling thing to my drug-addled brain. and it wasn't even really my face that hurt, even though i pointed that out to a nurse, so much as my throat. i was intubated, so i didn't stop breathing, and when they yank that sucker out it leaves behind a dry, swollen throat. the passage of air through my throat caused pain, so i didn't feel like breathing. which caused alarms to go off and nurses to yell at me to breathe. i didn't see what the big deal was, i randomly hold my breath all the time. but they seemed to think this was a problem so i took deep breaths of oxygen to get them to stop yelling so my head would hurt less. ice chips helped too.

when i was finally deemed ok to move i went to another room and the parents came in and the getting waited on started. "more water. hand me ginger ale. rub my head. fetch my glasses. ask a nurse if i can go pee." and then a big thought hit me. my gown is untied. i have no undies. people will see my bum. so i voiced this concern. several times. "dad, i don't want anyone to see my bum!" this caused many people to quietly chuckle. including all of the nurses. oh, btw, all of the nurses were really super nice. i know they only yelled so i wouldn't die and one was nice enough to tie up my gown so no one related to me had to see my bum. phew.

i went to the potty and i gots to tell you, those IV poles are heavy. i think that stinks. but, i peed, felt ok, and was released. released to be wheeled by a mad woman outside. those patient transport people should do a little slower. i got car sick on the way out of the hospital.

surgery eve

thursday, march 22. you really want to get drunk and chase away the willies but you promised your PCP you wouldn't so that your blood would stay nice and thick and clottable. so, instead, i took some before pics.

this is really important - i'm cute in real life. it is the bane of my family's existence that none of us have looked good in a photo since the first grade. this is a shame as we are all adorable in real life. that being said, here are the before shots. note how lucky i am that even though the interior of my nose was all mucked up, the outside was rather nice.


and yes, i find my snowman pj's to be rather cute too, thank you very much.

why i paid someone to cut my face open

they didn't really cut it open, per se, but we'll get to that later.

i'm a 27 year old female and i was sick, like, all the time. constant ear and sinus infections. strep throat, bronchitis. oh, and i have permanent hearing loss in my left ear. i was hating all of it. kept having to take stronger and stronger antibiotics which stopped working. so my PCP (primary care physician) sent me to an ENT (ear/nose/throat) specialist to see what was up. the ENT took a look up my nose and he basically was horrified, while trying to not look horrified, cause that would be unprofessional. turns out i had one of the worst deviated septums he'd ever seen. that was obvious when he tried to scope my sinuses with his camera thingy and it wouldn't fit up the left side. you see, doctor's cameras are verra, verra small and should fit anywhere. and when it doesn't, that's a very bad sign. he didn't really like to encourage invasive surgery, but he strongly urged me to consider it. so i did. i read some blogs by men (which while helpful, didn't really tell me a whole lot about their feelings - you know how men are) and spent some time on wikipedia and webmd - both very good sites.

then i went to my ENT and said "let's do it." and it was scheduled for 2 weeks later. so what did i do for those 2 weeks, besides tell my friends all about the gross stuff i was going to have done to me? i had 3, three!, pre-op appts. i had to visit the hospital where the bloody happenings were going to take place so they could draw 4 vials of blood. then i had to see my PCP so i could have an EKG done (i really wish someone would have told me you have to be basically naked for that - very embarassing. i like to be prepared for embarassing things.) then it was back to the ENT for him to make sure i was really ready. i was, so that was basically 7 minutes of my life wasted.

i was totally ready. hardcore ready. and then people asked me questions like, "what if the doc messes up and you end up ugly? what if your voice changes?" then my overactive immagination took over and got nervous. but the people who ask those questions are stupid and should be punched in their functional noses, the jerks.

please don't sue me

isn't that what the great US of A is all about nowadays? but seriously - i'm writing this to help others who are thinking of having a septoplasty done. if this helps you, fantastic, if not, i am sorry. but nothing written here is meant to replace the advice of a MD and honestly - wouldn't you trust the person with letters after their name anyway?